Rape has always been a topic that stirs waves of emotion in me, what never leaves my mind is the aftermath of that act, the scar it leaves on its victims.
Whenever I hear stories of rape, I always feel hurt and disappointed. My heart heavy for the one whose body and soul have been desecrated. Disappointed at those blaming the victim instead of condemning such evil. I always gasp and shake my head in disbelief when I read comments excusing rape.
I don’t think these people understand what rape is, I don’t think they understand what it means for someone to access your body without your consent, to treat it in an unholy way, debasing your worth, making you feel weak, helpless and worthless, all at the same time.
I don’t think they understand the trauma and the damage done, not just physically but emotionally and mentally.
Some are left with pregnancy, incurable disease or both for life. Someone just steps into your life uninvited and distorts your life in a way you didn’t expect. Dreams, plans all put on hold and you had no say whatsoever, they made the choice for your own life.
The mental breakdown that comes with it, you cry your eyes out hoping it was a mere dream, you wash your body countless times hoping you wash away their stains. The unspoken anger, the shame, the disgust and regret, you still cannot believe what happened, you are still shocked, angry and probably afraid to even tell this tale to anyone.
You remember how unkind and harsh our society can be. Their endless triggering questions which can blade the heart and probably start to make you feel guilty and ashamed over again. Why did you go to his house? why did you stay so late? why accept that drink? They end their tale with, I’m sure she walked or sat seductively, she must have worn seductive clothes, these women need to understand that men are sexual beings, men are moved by what they see and all other nonsense they use in justifying this evil. I wonder if we raising animals or men who lack self control and don’t respect women.
These questions sometimes make you forget that you are the victim in the story, you beat yourself up so much and start to believe what they say. Maybe you shouldn’t have said that, maybe you shouldn’t have done that. too many maybes but how can you blame yourself for the conscious act of another person?
How long are we going to continue making excuses for these men? Statistics keep rising, its not just young girls and ladies, children too are not being spared, 2, 3… year old are being exposed to such evil at that age of their life.
So many victims of rape have eaten their tears, they would rather remain silent than go through the accusation and judgemental questions. Most are always very much interested in pointing out the wrongs or mistakes than in addressing the rape.
We really need to do better as a society, we need to support our young women in fighting against this injustice and not be insensitive towards their plight.
Dear ladies, I know rape can be devastating, but please seek medical help, its definitely the best thing to do. I know it’s hard but I hope and pray you find courage to pursue justice, not just for yourself but for thousands of women who might fall prey to such evil men.
Above all, I hope you allow yourself heal, don’t get caught up in the anger and resentment that you self destruct. Don’t hide yourself or muffle up your voice in shame, you are a victim of such wickedness. The perpetrator of this act should be the one to hide his face in shame not you.
For the rest of us, I hope we understand how sensitive rape is and how heinous it is to lie about it, making it extremely difficult for people who are true victims to get help.
We will continue to sensitize the public and fight those who dare to make excuses for such evil.
Women need to feel safe. Rape victims are only victims, nothing more!
